A Labyrinthine Journey: Soon Coming in 3-D

There is a set of notes on this week’s sermon preparation worksheet that I am pretty sure won’t fit, that I don’t want to lose out on giving life to.

I woke up the other morning with this contrast in my head: “I cannot persuade or convinve, but I can behold and celebrate, witness and express.”

Ever since our Stephen Ministry training materials talked about the difference between being result oriented and process oriented, I have been chipping away at shifting my overall perspective of life to reflect that new way. Simply stated, whenever we find our goals and expectations connected to what another person does for or because of us, we are goal oriented. That orientation becomes a source of frustration within ourselves and a temptation to manipulate and control in relationship to others. For better self and other relationship the idea is to keep our focus oriented on our participation in the process of life.

In order to live fully while participating in the process of life, did you catch the tricky part? We have to relinquish control. As an Enneagram 8, this is a hard one for me. Control and the fear of being under the control of others is a big red flag within my heart and soul. To remain in process means that we need to cultivate surrender and trust in deeper and broader ways.

I’ve been casting my attention to personal and ministry goals lately and noticing how pervasive this goal-orientation is. What are common ministry goals for a church? To increase attendance in worship, to get more people in  small groups, to increase financial contributions by ??%, etc. They sound good, but they set us up for manipulation and despair when people just don’t respond as we expected/wanted them to.

So with that idea, it is harder for me to be satisfied with motivations and goals that include the idea of persuading or convincing people. Even the idea of making people’s spiritual lives better or imporving their walk with God pushes that control button for me. I have to keep reminding myself, that I have no power or control over what another person decides or feels or thinks, why act as if I can influence or change that.

I find ideas like witness and express becoming more important to my motivations for writing and preaching and teaching. People don’t have to agree with or even like what I say. Am I clearly and fully expressing my own heart and thought? I certainly want to do so in a caring way, because expressing includes being true to my own personal integrity. And if I am simply expressing without any expectation of a result I have removed the teeth of manipulation and control from communication.

The other ideas that fit within my spiritual direction and worship leadership lives are Behold and Celebrate. I cannot create an experience of God within my spiritual directees or within the worshippers. When I try, then I become invasive of their very heart and soul. I have experienced that from the other side and it is not pleasant or respectful. Yet, we can together behold what God is doing in life and we can as a community (whether it is one on one, in small group, or larger congregation) celebrate (give witness to) that activity of God within us.

As I make this shift in my own life, I find less frustration and more fulfillment in ever increasing parts of my life and ministry.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 19th, 2009 at 10:42 am and is filed under church, leadership, life, spirituality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.