Down in the Valley
One of the lessons from my journey through my depression is to remember that some days and weeks are good and some days and weeks are not. The chemical imbalance which the depression has fostered in my brain for over 20 years has been accepted as “normal” by that brain so any attempt to change it triggers the homeostasis response as my body wants to return to its idea of normal. So it will take some time to retrain my brain.
I’ve been tripping around the edge of the valley for a couple weeks now, tiptoeing closer to it than I wanted to be. I’ve been doing some good things, but then there are some things I should be doing that I haven’t done yet (like a regular exercise program). Then Sunday I slipped over the edge and have been slipping ever since. I had a good session with my counselor this week, but that is not magic either. I have to start taking care of myself and then the valley will be left behind, but that is a process.
A big part of my problem is that there are many things (like exercise) that I know are Really Good Ideas (not quite Trademarked), but I haven’t moved them to the part of my life called I Must Do This. (NQTM)
The best thing I can do when in the valley is to learn what set me up for the slide and move those things to the I Must Do This (NQTM) category.
Sigh. At least I have some recent days when I know I can do it right to give me the hope and trust to get through these days when I can’t see anything I do as right.
