The Golden Calf of Certainty
A few threads coming together in my life as I stepped into the labyrinth yesterday. Last Sunday’s lectionary had a couple passages that led me to consider the presence of idolatry in my life and in our society. Then over the last few days, I have had a couple conversations with people related to the almost consuming desire to see where are lives are going and wanting to know how everything fits together. In the course of the conversation talking about modifying that desire away from knowing the answers to opting to trust God in whatever direction the Beloved will lead us in. The concern needing to be more with the here and now task of living each present moment loving God, neighbor and self fully.
I had to laugh in the labyrinth when I remembered the old adage: what I find myself saying to others represents a word that I need to be accept for myself.
The thought that carried me out of the labyrinth was that I(we) have traded faithfulness in relationships (including our relationship with the Beloved) for the idol of Certainty. The Golden Calf of Certainty has now become the god whom we serve.
We want guarantees and reproducible results instead of the dynamic of being a part of growing and living relationships. We exchange the uncertainty of the normal chaos of life for the illusion
of control.
So, we clog the courts with lawsuits because someone didn’t fulfill the “guarantee”, even if that “promise” only existed in our internal expectations. We storm the gates of heaven with prayers demanding God tell us what we are to do “for the greater good” and to give us a guarantee that our lives will be long, enjoyable and meaningful.
A couple months ago, I took that question into the labyrinth. And when I got to the center and listened for God’s answer to my desire for knowledge of my future, I was sure I heard laughter. God offers no such guarantees. The Beloved offers a relationship and comes to invite us into that relationship which is based on love and faithfulness. God does not enter into a contract based on lists of obligations and certainties.
The more I focus on the results, the more I find myself missing the Beloved in my life. In looking for specifics I miss the surprises of grace.
Time to cast off the fear of uncertainty and embrace the awe of Love, wild, rich, abundant and free.
