Choices, Choices, Choices
In life, that’s what it all comes down to anyway. And it isn’t the big
choices I am thinking about. If we know a choice is crucial, we can
usually make a decent one.
But it’s the little choices we don’t think about that usually catch up
with us and can potentially mess us up. One of the things I learned
from my divorce is that we both intended to make it work forever, but
a long string of smaller choices ended up in the long run being too
much for our relationship to make it. As I go through my second chance
at marriage, I am working to catch myself earlier with all those small
choices.
I am not a sailor, but I can imagine that most sailors get lost
by being off course just a little port or a little starboard (I know
some terms). They think they are fine until it is almost too late. One
must be awake with all the choices one makes.
For me lately it has been, “I will start this little project now and
get to that one later.” Only the first little project ends up eating
up more time and energy so the next project doesn’t get done. Then
other more urgent things come up and that other project keeps getting
pushed back and back and back, until it is too late. If I am lucky, I
can get it just before it is too late. It doesn’t always happen that
way. Then I get frustrated with myself, and I can berate myself pretty
well. Then not only does the project not get done, I also end up
pretty close to giving up on myself. That’s where some of the entries
from earlier in the week came from. That sense of frustration that
comes when I am sincerely trying to do the right thing, and those
other things that I have put off come up all at the same time
screaming to be taken care of, “or else…”
I have been able to take care of a couple of those things this
week. Finally. Now to keep at it and get the others taken care. Then
all I need to remember is to not get stuck in the first place.
Consider the small choices. They are very important.
